Don't Quit Read online

  CHAPTER 16

  Persevering in Challenging Times

  by Kyle Wilson

  I n business the past 25 years, I have had many extreme don’t quit moments! There were numerous times when it felt like everything was on the line and failure wasn’t an option.

  And often that led to breakthroughs and new opportunities.

  Those are easy for me to talk about.

  As a seminar promoter, marketer, business strategist, and business partner with Jim Rohn and many others, most people think of me as being a very sanguine and public person. After all, isn’t that what marketing is about?

  Actually, I’ve always been pretty private about my personal life, especially when it comes to my family.

  And it is more on the personal side of life that I have faced some of my biggest tests and dark nights.

  Like everyone reading this, my family and I have had our own challenges. In fact, the majority of people I know are dealing with, or have family or close friends dealing with, some kind of personal adversity.

  Whether it is disease, cancer, an automobile accident, depression, alcohol or drugs, divorce, and even death, we or someone we know is experiencing one of these.

  It’s part of the human condition.

  In business, my tenacity, strategic thinking, mentors, and often times good fortune has allowed me to prevail many times in some of the biggest challenges that came my way.

  But I’ve learned the hard way, when it comes to our personal lives and those we love, we don’t always have the same control or influence.

  It’s in these relationships that have come some of my biggest struggles and my best lessons. They can be gifts.

  In business, for some reason, I’ve been able to exude confidence sometimes bordering on arrogance, only to find myself crippled by my own or others’ personal challenges that I can’t control or help with.

  By definition, I am codependent. If my wife and kids are doing great and are happy, then so am I. But if they are dealing with an issue, it is often at the forefront of my thoughts.

  So, maybe the real issues aren’t what they are going through or struggling with. Maybe it has more to do with me and how I interpret what is happening and how I choose to deal with it.

  After all, I train and talk about how challenges and even failure can be our teachers and help us grow. But it is hard when you see others going through challenges.

  When I think about this, it takes me on a journey to my childhood.

  Was I confident as a kid? No, actually I was very shy and struggled with all kinds of insecurities, fears, and worries.

  I remember as young as kindergarten having a speech problem―the teacher asking me multiple times to say the word “cat” because I wasn’t saying it clearly.

  So, speaking out in class wasn’t something I felt comfortable doing. That followed me into my 20s.

  Both my parents were also very shy about speaking in front of people. They would get very nervous. To this day, I still at times find it uncomfortable to speak in front of an audience, even though I have done it over a thousand times.

  In the fifth grade, I remember having panic attacks, afraid that my dad, who traveled for his job four days a week, would be in a serious car accident or worrying that my mom would not make it home that day from work.

  Where does that kind of fear and worry come from? Maybe it was that previous summer when I was hit in the eye by a baseball in a Little League game and knocked unconscious. Or maybe it was my mom telling me my cousin had died in a car accident that same summer.

  We didn’t talk about our fears, worries, and feelings back then, at least not in my house. It was a generational thing. My mom and dad were amazing, but they also were very busy trying to make a living and raising four kids.

  Looking for acceptance and adventure at age 16, I was getting high just about every day, and by age 18, I was selling drugs and hanging around some not so good people.

  Fortunately, by age 19, I had hit rock bottom and made some changes that forever put me on the right track.

  I’m so grateful I had parents and loved ones that stayed with me and loved me during my unlovable moments.

  After that, I was off to make my mark on the world and in some cases even prove some of my doubters wrong, that I could be successful.

  Fast forward 11 years. I owned my own company, and more than that, my wife and I were getting 2500 people to pay to come to seminars we were putting on all over the country. I had Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn, and Og Mandino speaking!

  Fast forward two more years and I made Jim Rohn an offer he couldn’t refuse and I launched Jim Rohn international.

  Within a year, I had taken Jim from 20 speaking engagements at $4k each to 110 speaking engagements at $10k and then $25k each. Plus I had created a product that would go on to sell six million copies.

  That same year, I lost my dad at the age of 73. Six months later, Heidi and I celebrated the birth of our first child, Rebekah. My dad was my new angel looking over me and my family. Two years later, we had our second child, Daniel.

  Life was good!

  Over the next 16 years, my business and team were on fire. We multiplied and grew in every way. In addition to JRI, I launched Your Success Store and became the agent to Denis Waitley, Chris Widener, Ron White, and many others. I also built an email audience of over one million people, gained the rights to over 100 intellectual properties, and published and sold millions of books and multimedia programs. I was collaborating with so many of the iconic legends in the personal development space.

  Then, in late 2007, I knew I needed to make some changes. I made the decision to sell my companies including Jim Rohn International and Your Success Store so I could be at home full-time with my family.

  After retiring, just like when a challenge came up in business, if there was a challenge my wife or kids were going through, I wanted to help. I believed I had solutions which almost always included taking action.

  But, I learned that we all are on our own journey and have different personalities and goals. Also I noticed that some of their struggles and decisions began to wake me to my own issues.

  I discovered that it was difficult for me to trust all is going to be okay.

  I still deal with irrational fears and worries similar to those I had in the fifth grade about my mom and dad getting in a wreck or not making it home. I wonder, will my daughter or son be safe driving from Dallas to Houston or going on a trip to Europe alone or being out all night with friends?

  Yes, most parents may have similar worries. But mine have been extreme at times.

  There have been many gifts that have come from these personal challenges.

  Peeling the onion on where these fears and worries come from and coming to accept my complete inability to do anything about these situations has taken me on a spiritual journey to find faith and trust. I am learning to accept I can only control my own actions.

  It also has brought back to mind many of my own actions as a teen and young adult. I appreciate my parents more and more each day because of the things they must have worried about with me and all my travels and actions.

  It’s helped me, a type A business personality, to be more empathetic regarding challenges other people are going through.

  It’s helped me dig deeper into what my triggers are and realize many of my own patterns.

  It’s made me more vulnerable with friends and others I’m close to.

  It’s made me more loving and accepting of all my family members and close friends.

  In business, my don’t quit stories are very vision and action-oriented.

  My personal life’s don’t quit stories are more oriented towards my learning surrender, acceptance, gratitude, and love.

  In both my business and personal life, there are consistent themes of optimism, faith, hope, gratitude, mentors, and purpose that keeps me pressing forward.

  In 2013, I came out of business retirement. It has given me so much gratific
ation to be back in the personal development world.

  My focus has been my Inner Circle Masterminds, publishing books like this one you are reading, and some high-end coaching. And as much as I would like to say my life is perfect, especially considering my resume of working so closely with Jim Rohn for 18 years as well as Denis Waitley, Brian Tracy,

  Darren Hardy, Les Brown, etc. I’ve been granted the gift of struggles like most others so that we can all find common ground in our challenges as well as our victories.

  Just as I share here openly, we are also authentic and vulnerable in my Inner Circle Masterminds. It truly is an amazing community of entrepreneurs and professionals seeking to grow their businesses, but even more important, grow as a person. It has developed into an authentic, safe environment for people to thrive in.

  A common thought for so many people going through struggles is that they are the only one going through that or feeling that way. Often they feel shame or embarrassment.

  “Don’t quit” is not about fixing things or making them perfect. It’s about the journey and persevering and growing no matter what comes our way.

  It’s also about finding people that you can be open and honest with who have wisdom and can be a support and encouragement to you.

  Remember these wise words.

  Success is failure turned inside out―

  The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

  And you never can tell just how close you are,

  It may be near when it seems so far;

  So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit―

  It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

  You got this! Much love!

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  TWEETABLE

  Don’t Quit is not about fixing things or making them perfect. It’s about the journey and persevering and growing no matter what comes our way.

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  Kyle Wilson is a strategist, marketer, and entrepreneur. Go to KyleWilson.com to download Free his 52 Lessons I Learned from Jim Rohn and Other Great Legends I Promoted! plus other valuable resources including over 100 marketing related blog post, interviews, and e-books.

  Kyle is founder of Jim Rohn International, Your Success Store, and KyleWilson.com. He is the co- creator of Chicken Soup for the Entrepreneur’s Soul. He leads the Kyle Wilson Inner Circle Mastermind. Kyle has filled big event rooms and produced 100s of programs including titles by Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Denis Waitley, and has published multiple #1 selling books.

  To learn more about Kyle’s Inner Circle Mastermind, his #1 Bestseller Book Program, or his high-end one-on- one coaching, send an email to [email protected] or go to KyleWilson.com

  CHAPTER 17

  The System Is Rigged to Fail You

  by Jeff Thornton

  T he restaurant was crowded. The many voices melded into static noise, but the sound of his fork bouncing off his plate was startling. His hands were shaking and there was fear in his eyes.

  I always wanted to be an entrepreneur. When I was nine years old,I sold flower and vegetable seeds door to door. I found the mail order form in the back of a magazine, filled it out, mailed it, and my seeds came in the mail after allowing “3-4 weeks for shipping.” I gave the invoice to my mom to pay. Of course, she about had a cow, but quickly gave me a smile and said, “Okay, but you have to sell them all.” I did. Along the way, I started selling greeting cards in the fall, leaving me summers to swim and play baseball.

  As I grew older, I mowed lawns, pulled weeds, cleaned out garages, swept front porches, had a paper route, and did just about anything else I could do to make some cash. And I found there was a bonus. I loved doing a good job and making people happy.

  “We get paid for bringing value to the marketplace.”

  – Jim Rohn, Entrepreneur, Author & Motivational Speaker

  After I got out of school, I got my first full-time job in the truck-trailer business. My dad worked in the business, so it was only natural he would bring in his son. Twelve years later, in 1990, I started my own company and never looked back, not until life-altering news turned my passion into my purpose.

  From the time my dad was 28 years old, he worked for only two companies, both of which manufactured semi-trailers. In 1971, he went to work for a small family-owned company located in southern California who wanted to expand their dealer network to the east.

  Over the next nine years, my dad worked his way through the ranks to become the top man in the company outside of the family ownership. When he retired in 1998, he had been responsible for finding and signing over 70 dealerships including 8 in Canada and 2 in Mexico. In retirement, he was retained as a consultant primarily to attend large conventions and be the face of the company. In 1971, most companies had a pension plan of some sort. The IRA and 401K had not been invented. My dad had a great profit-sharing plan and a stock bonus program. By the time he retired, he had built quite a retirement nest egg and had his consultant salary for additional income.

  “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

  – Allen Saunders, American Writer & Journalist

  On a beautiful spring day in 1999, my mom and dad were attending a conference in Hilton Head, South Carolina. While playing golf, my mom suffered seizures and was rushed to the hospital. Scans revealed she had a brain tumor and further tests would need to be done when they returned home to Atlanta, Georgia. Those tests came back positive for small cell carcinoma. She had lung cancer and it had spread to her brain. She was not expected to live for more than two years with aggressive treatments. My mom passed away in 2006 after putting up a courageous, seven-year fight.

  Cancer is a horrible disease. It takes a toll on everyone, especially the immediate family. My dad took it hard and did whatever he had to do to set aside his grief and start living again. He played golf at the country club regularly, traveled, and attended baseball spring training in Florida among other things. A few years later, he rented out the home he and my mom had owned and rented a high-rise condo in another part of Atlanta. He even dated some.

  Several times a year, my dad would travel from Atlanta to Fort Worth, Texas to visit my family and his many friends. He had grown up in Fort Worth and loved seeing his old friends and even a few old girlfriends. It was during one of these visits that I decided to tell him I was thinking of making a career change.

  Even though I had my own business, the truth was, the business had me. It wasn’t fun. The business I created became a job and not something I enjoyed. I never had a passion for it. I was an entrepreneur who hated what I was doing. I didn’t think that was possible. How can you work for yourself and not be happy?

  “What matters is who you really are. Be who you are.”

  – Robert Helms, The Real Estate Guys Radio Show, Friend and Mentor

  I purchased a property for my business in 2001. That first investment opened my eyes to real estate investing and the power of passive income. You might refer to this as “mailbox money.” There were two buildings on the property, and I only needed one, so I rented the other building. The tenant stayed for 15 years.

  I became very passionate about investing, mostly in real estate. By 2010, my partners and I had invested in two multifamily properties, and I had invested in three additional industrial properties on my own. That summer, my wife and I took my dad to dinner at the same steakhouse we visited every time he came to town.

  When I told him I was seriously thinking about selling my business to become a full-time investor, he scolded me. I was 53 years old, and he scolded me like I was six. I didn’t know what to say or how to defend myself. I just sat there like a child and listened to him. My wife and I rehashed the episode for several weeks before finally moving on.

  “I had two fathers, a rich one and a poor one.”

  – Robert Kiyosaki, Author Rich Dad Poor Dad

  The restaurant was crowded. The many voices melded into static noise, but the sound of his fork bo
uncing off his plate was startling. His hands were shaking and there was fear in his eyes. I ask my dad what was wrong. Had he also fallen victim to lung cancer? He had never quit smoking after my mom died. After a few seconds, he answered, “I’m afraid I’m going to outlive my savings.”

  I wasn’t sure how to react, so I asked him, “How much do you have left?” He answered, “About $80,000.”

  I can only describe the feeling I had at that moment as numbness, like the feeling I had when I found out my mom had a brain tumor. That numbness is followed by tightening in your chest, then emotions. Hours later, you feel anger, but you’re not sure who or what to be angry about.

  This all unfolded just one year after he had scolded me. To most, $80,000 would be a lot of money. But for my father’s lifestyle, that might last him six to eight months. There are many reasons he wound up in this position, but these three stand out. 1) Medicare, Medicaid, and supplemental insurance didn’t cover all my mom’s seven years of cancer treatments or hospice care. 2) My father continued his lifestyle even though he had given up his consultant salary in 2001 to take care of my mom and his retirement savings were dwindling quickly. 3) He relied on a financial planner who did not prioritize his retirement and wellbeing.

  It is number three that upsets me most. My dad got crushed in what we now call the great recession. His financial advisor at that time did not have his money allocated properly for his age. This should have never happened. Why didn’t I see this coming? What could I have done? What could I do now?

  “We are unaware because we are on autopilot.”

  – Dragan Trajkovski, Tony Robbins Research International, Friend and Mentor

  My dad passed away in 2013 of lung cancer. Although he wasn’t penniless, he died broke relevant to his lifestyle. Later that year, I began the transition to full-time investing and helping others find solutions to their retirement woes. My dad’s situation turned my passion into my purpose and mission. I’m sure my dad never dreamed of being in the situation he was in, but a series of events and mistakes almost cost my dad everything.