Don't Quit Page 24
While all this was going on, I was still stuck in a hell of keeping things together, sweeping things under the rug, being verbally beat down, and thinking every day, How did I let my life end up this way? My days with my kids were my solace, my joy, my reason for living. Until one day when my daughter was seven. My ex was drunk as usual, and she looked at me and said, “Why are you still with him?” Boom. Talk about a lightbulb and “aha” moment. It was affecting my kids now. I wasn’t keeping it all together at all. It was time to get out of this hell for them.
That month in 2016, I told him I wanted a divorce and I haven’t looked back once. It was terrifying. It was unknown. I felt out of control. But it turned out to be the absolute best decision of my life. I did it. I had no idea how I was going to keep everything up on my own, pay the mortgage, feed the kids, and afford daycare. But the sense of absolute peace I felt the first day that I walked into our home alone, just me and my kids, was incredible. I knew I was no longer responsible for fixing someone else’s misery. I knew, without a doubt, I was on the right path. I will always be grateful to my daughter for the “slap in the face” I needed to wake up and look at things the way others see them. Sometimes our hardest decisions yield the greatest joy.
I do not blame my ex for my mistakes. His demons are his to deal with, and I needed to figure out how to pick myself up and give the kids better. Even if I had started believing that I didn’t deserve the best, I knew they did. I would never hear my kids say “Mom didn’t do it, so I can’t either.”
We all have a destiny to follow, and I believe that not one of us were destined for a life of sorrow, a poverty mindset, or circumstantial living. We are responsible for the decision to take that step to finding better, and taking another step each and every day no matter how dark it feels or what life throws at us. If you have faith and a vision that you will get everything you want and desire, it becomes inevitable, as long as you don’t quit. Keep on believing. Keep going. Every day. Despite all else.
I truly believe that we were created to live an abundant life. Leading people to that discovery through their own journey has become a thrill for me. I recommend that each person reading this chapter takes the time afterward to write down the vision for your life. In one year, three years, five years, where do you see yourself? Write it down, see it, feel it, and believe it. Do this regularly.
Now, I am three and a half years out of my marriage, running my own health and wellness company, and at a point where I’m ready for that next chapter. I had to make another huge decision at the beginning of this year: to let the house my kids grew up in go. I was so anxious to bring the topic up with the kids, and when I did, they lit up with excitement. They were ready to move on to the next adventure too. I realized we kept things as “normal” as we could for as long as we could, and now we were all ready for a new normal. As I sit here and write this, I’m in my new backyard, in a new area of town, with a whole new outlook. Life feels good.
Eight years ago, this girl could have never seen herself here, as a co- founder of a thriving business and a mentor to women, and waking up with a zest for life, grateful for every day. I have rediscovered that younger me who believed she could, who believed she was the best at everything she did, who loved hard, who expected great things, who knew she was special and wouldn’t settle. Somewhere, she had gotten lost along the way. But the Light found her and her light shines. She is home, all grown up, with a lot more growing to do, and a passion to help others find their way out of the darkness.
Three powerful truths that got me to where I am: decision, discovery, and determination. I broke the code of struggle and you can too.
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Three powerful truths that got me to where I am: decision, discovery, and determination. I broke the code of struggle and you can too.
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Angel Chandler is a proud mom of two who has worked with women to achieve their health, life, and financial goals for over seven years. She is the co-founder of The Fasting Fix at www.thefastingfix.com and is a network marketing expert and trainer. Download my free guide “Intermittent Fasting for Beginners” at www.fastingforbeginners.com
CHAPTER 37
From Working in the Sugarcane Fields and Going through 5
Bankruptcies to Sharing Lessons on the Stage
by Ravin S. Papiah
W hat if five bankruptcies can lead you to financial freedom?
Have you ever been bankrupt? If yes, how many times did it happen to you? Well, I may win an award for it because I have gone through it five times! You would expect people who go through bankruptcy five times to have either expired or to be living a life of misery, right? NO, not me! I am living my best life these days. Yes, it was not easy. It has been a roller coaster, but I survived, and more than that I am living the life I dreamt of for most of my earlier life and doing the things I always wanted to do, like writing a chapter in this book with awesomely amazing co-authors and many more crazy projects that are underway.
If you read my story in the first book I coauthored, Life-Defining Moments From Bold Thought Leaders , you know I was born in Mauritius a sick child, a child that the doctor didn’t give long to live. I had no friends at school and was not able to play during recreation time. I was clearly a child of no great future, but my mother didn’t think like that. She gave me the best care despite our meager financial means. I learned to thrive through difficult moments, to seize opportunities whenever they appear, to keep walking the path, and to make decisions when I have to. In reality, my difficult childhood was an advanced course at the school of hard knocks. I became resilient very early in my life, resisting failure and becoming adamant on my path to success. I just never quit. My defining thought: In the advancement of your steps you will be gifted with the tools to access the success you want.
My first experience of bankruptcy happened when I was 17 years old. I took part in my second year college exams, which would open doors to university. I was working for a scholarship. I was the youngest in my class, and I was the only one deprived of private tuitions―my parents just could not afford them. I was attending college only three days a week, as I didn’t have enough money to pay for the transport to and from college. My exam results were out, and I got brilliant results…but missed the scholarship.
This was not fatal, for I was still very young and had another three chances to take the exams and qualify for the scholarship. But my parents could not afford to pay for the exams a second time. It was a meager sum of $50, but at that time, it was a fortune for my parents. They strived and struggled hard to pay for the first one, borrowing part of the money from relatives and squeezing their savings. I didn’t have a choice. I had to stop school and look for work.
I was devastated. I was on the brink of depression. That was my only hope for a better life. I wanted to prove myself―to myself, to my parents, to my relatives, but more so to my bullies. My teacher Chantal’s hard work in converting me to a bookworm should not go to waste. I didn’t know anything else apart from studying. Not sports, not arts, I had no other skills at all. I could feel my life ending soon. I could hear the doctor’s words about my short life, and I started doubting my future existence. I got my first experience of bankruptcy. It was not really mine, for I didn’t possess anything. It was my parents’ bankruptcy, but I felt like I lost everything. 14 years of hard study, coming first in every subject, every year, topping not only the class, but also the school and college, and I still fell short by that much of what I needed to earn a scholarship to go to university. This seemed the end of the road. School was finished for me.
I spent the time until my 18th birthday working in the sugarcane fields with other children who failed college. It was hard, tiring, and hopeless. I had never wanted to be back here, where I had worked for years during all my holidays to help my mother. I loved my mother, but I hated the fields. It was strenuous work. And every time I would get back to school after the ho
lidays, I would promise myself to work harder at my studies to avoid coming back in my later years. I felt like a massive failure.
At 18, I started applying for jobs and very quickly got a job at the most popular bank on the island and started another life. I worked hard, became very popular with the customers, and was liked. I got married very early at 23, became a father of two at 25, and then needed much more money to take care of my little family. I was already working a second part-time job, and was quite successful at that too, when an offer to take a managerial position in the sales company presented itself. Based on my past selling experience, I grabbed the offer, leaving the job at the bank after nearly eight years, at the discontent of my entire family. The job offer at the sales company was a freelance full-time job with no guaranteed pay. I grabbed the offer because I wanted to grow and wanted to secure the future of my kids, which I could not do with the salary I was earning at the bank. I knew the kind of money I could make if I went full-time as a salesperson. I had faith in me and in my vision for the future.
I was an instant hit at the sales company. I achieved unbelievable results in the next eight years. I earned world recognition as international champion eight consecutive times. I earned money―loads of it. Then everything came crashing down.
Things changed at the company’s management level. A new manager came in and wanted to change everything. I was not agreeable. There were conflicts, loads of them. I felt disrespected and devalued. I left the job without a thought. In a minute, I was on the road with no job and no money. That was my second bankruptcy! And with it my marriage came crashing down. So, now I was without a job, with two kids on the road.
I had been so successful, so where was my money? There is a saying that goes, “a little knowledge is dangerous.” I had little knowledge in business and in managing people. I was a boy from a lower middle class family, what they call “poor.” A boy from a lower middle class family who is a good salesperson does not necessarily make a good businessman and makes a worse entrepreneur. I never had any experience in recruiting or managing people, and worse, I had no intelligence about money management. My background was poverty, and my education was about fighting poverty. You do not get out of poverty if you stay in the poverty consciousness.
I started my role as freelance sales manager by recruiting those people who were my best customers, and I taught them what and how I was doing my sales. My sales experience was my sales training. Because I was successful in my selling, my teachings motivated my people to duplicate my selling formula, and it worked for them too. My team was selling like crazy, and I was earning like crazy!
But, I didn’t have any idea of money management. So, when I was earning so much money, I believed this money was not for me. I developed the belief that I was earning the money BECAUSE my team was working hard. I decided a part of the money I was earning should go towards the team. This is a great idea, right? I did not know the Pareto rule at that time. Today, I realize that I was using the Pareto rule inversely. I spent more than 80% of my earnings on motivating, incentivizing, and entertaining my team.
Sometimes, it even went over 100%. I was earning big money, but I was not keeping my share, believing it was NOT mine. To motivate my team, I even contracted bank overdrafts and loans because I believed that I would be making even more. I did make more, much more, but I kept practicing the Pareto rule the reverse way.
Luckily, a director of a related company spotted me and offered me another opportunity in direct selling, but now in satellite television. It was a good offer. I worked 18 months for that company. Then, the manager from my previous direct selling company called me. He had an opening for me in the Middle East. The offer was too tempting to resist. My manager at the satellite television company tried to convince me to stay, but my heart was with my previous company, so I resigned my post. I was to go to Dubai for six months to get a preview of my responsibilities, and then I would come back to Mauritius to bring my family back to the Middle East on a five year contract. I went to Dubai, and did my six months. When I came back, I got married, and was ready to fly back to my dream job in Dubai only to learn that the offer was no longer valid.
It felt like the skies were crashing down on me. I was penniless. Even worse, I was heavily in debt with the banks. This was my third and most painful bankruptcy. I stayed jobless for fourteen months. I wrote countless applications and attended various interviews, but the road to a corporate job was tedious. I did not have a university education and it had been 15 years since I left school. Despite my vast experience in direct selling, it had no value on the job market, and everyone was looking for a degree holder. I didn’t have one, and the market was full of graduates.
In all this chaos of a new marriage, two kids, no job, no house, and no money, I made a decision, a decision that 99.9% of people in a similar situation will never take. I went to university! I signed up for a degree course for four years part-time, and as I attended the first semester, like magic, I got an offer to work as head of sales in a waterpark. The salary was meager, but the opportunity to do something unique was interesting. My first year was fabulous. I brought in some great business. That year was the first year the company ever made a profit.
I worked hard and studied hard. I took another course in marketing by distance. I was continuing my learning and accumulated diplomas, degrees, and post-graduate qualifications. I was also filling the post of marketing manager at the water park every time the previous one was dismissed and another appointed. I was the sweeper in between, but I was never offered the post, despite now having the required qualifications.
I left the waterpark for another job offering twice the salary, only to quickly find that the work environment was not one I could tolerate. They had fired seven managers in the last year, and I resigned within my first two weeks. Now, I was looking for a job and unable to find one because I was too qualified. This led to my fourth bankruptcy.
Then came another offer for the post of director of marketing at a business school. I was selected and accepted the offer. Then, I came to know that in the last eight years, there was a revolving door of eight different marketing directors taking that post. I saw the challenge, took it, and stayed there amidst loads of adversity for nearly two years. In my first year, that business school made its first ever profit in its history, and the staff was paid their first ever extra bonus during the mid-year.
After two years, I was asked to leave as the school was feeling the aftermath of the 2008 global financial downturn. I was again on the door of bankruptcy. My son just went to China to study and here I was losing my job. This was my fifth bankruptcy, and it lasted for over a year. Getting a job was little more than a dream impossible to achieve.
In 2009, after a lot of hesitation, I decided to launch my own consultancy services, putting into practice all my experience gained from my several corporate jobs and in the direct selling industry. Over the last 10 years, I have founded two companies, earned my certification as an executive director of the John Maxwell Team, acquired my certification as a chartered advisor with Gitomer Licensed Trainer, and completed my MBA just last month.
Five bankruptcies built me tougher, bigger, and better. It took 14 years after my first bankruptcy when I left my direct selling company and another four bankruptcies to finally meet another fabulous business opportunity. In 2010, I joined the Forever Living Products company, and over the past eight years I have earned over 13 international trips, winning various challenges year in, year out. Every time I fell to a bankruptcy, it took me less time to get up and go. During those 14 years of crossing the desert, I studied continuously and learned several life lessons on the field. All this has made me one of the most sought after public speakers in my country. Through my training company, The Professional Leadership Centre Ltd, I now offer the branded courses of John Maxwell and Jeffrey Gitomer. I add to these my experience and learning gathered through my roller coaster of challenges and struggles plus achievements and successes accum
ulated over the years.
My story is simple. I took my challenges as my motivation to grow and become a better version of myself so that I can, in turn, share my stories with people and make them realize their hidden potential. Anything is possible. If you see failures and adversity as the stepping-stone to your success, then truly anything is possible. Embrace the struggles, accept the adversities, and face the challenges, for they are nothing else than tests that are thrown in your path to grow you to the strength needed for you to achieve your NEXT level.
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In the advancement of your steps you will be gifted with the tools to access the success you want.
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Ravin S. Papiah is passionate about helping others reach their highest potential and is highly decorated in the industries of professional speaking and direct selling. He is currently a founder-partner and a certified coach, speaker, trainer, and executive director of the John Maxwell Team in addition to his role as a Gitomer Licensed Trainer. Ravin acts as a managing director of the Mighty Champs Marketing Co. Ltd. and the Professional Leadership Centre Ltd. and is a Soaring Eagle Manager with Forever Living Products, USA. To connect, visit www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/ravinsouvendrapapiah/About
CHAPTER 38
Never Stop Never Stopping!
by Jesse LeBeau
“It’s hard to beat someone who never gives up.”
– Babe Ruth aka The Great Bambino
M y whole life I’ve been an underdog. Growing up, I was a scrawny, undersized, wannabe basketball player. I lived on a little, remote Alaskan island where I was forced to take a boat just to get to school. I was overlooked and underestimated at every turn, and my dream to turn basketball into a career was slim to none.