Don't Quit Page 19
While looking for that passion, I took another job in the same field to pay the bills, but it was evident very early that it was not going to be a long-term position for me. It just reiterated my need to find that passion and create an opportunity to get me out of the rat race.
Having recently re-read Robert Kiyosaki’s book, Cashflow Quadrant, I knew that I needed to create passive income to reach my goals. Over the years, I had been slowly acquiring rental properties which were generating a small amount of cash flow each month. I acquired them by purchasing them to live in, and when I moved, I would keep the home, turn it into a rental property, and generate passive income. I realized it was something that interested me and that had not been that difficult.
One property I owned was in an area that commercial developers were purchasing. The commercial value of the property was three times what I paid for it, so I was looking into ways to minimize my tax burden. That led me into the world of wholesaling, fix and flip, and buy and hold real estate. I took courses and hired coaches, listened to books on Audible, and devoured as many podcasts about real estate as I could. The biggest change for me was that my mind was beginning to shift away from what I had always been taught, or not taught, about money. I started to think differently and started to think more like an entrepreneur.
Wholesaling is hard, and it was one of the hardest things I had ever tried to do. Fortunately, I had coaches to encourage me to keep pushing. Because I stuck with it, I eventually found Gene Guarino and Residential Assisted Living Academy on one of the podcasts I listened to. His teachings struck a chord with me by resonating with my desire to help people. It was through that process that I realized my passion was not in real estate or any specific business but in finding a way to truly help people and feel good about it. Residential assisted living is a business that allows me to realize that passion. I am able to help the residents who live in the home, help their loved ones by providing exceptional care for their parents, and help provide a job for caregivers who are passionate about working with the elderly.
A business in caregiving also resonated with me because, when I was nine, my parents moved us into the farmhouse my dad grew up in, and we took care of my dad’s brother, Uncle Robert. Robert was mentally handicapped and functioned at a three-year-old mental capacity. I understand what it is like to live in a caregiving family with the joys but also the challenges of having to take care of an adult. I remember the limits it imposes on family vacations, going to the store, or traveling just about anywhere. You must always consider this adult and whether they can go along or if you have to find alternative care. As a teen, I became that care when my mom needed to run errands.
I realized after hearing Gene Guarino that I could, as he puts it, “Do good and do well” in a business where I could empathize with what the families were going through and provide a better level of care than what is currently available in most assisted living facilities.
I took my time and took his free course. Then I bought his online courses. I went to his three-day fast track training and finally joined his inner circle. I was all in. This was a passion that I could get behind. This was something I was proud to tell my friends and family about. I was willing to use my personal Facebook page to discuss this new business venture.
Building this business is still hard work, but when you have that passion to drive you, it makes the work worth it and gives you that extra kick when you need to get it in gear.
Sometimes you get so comfortable with what you are doing and where you are that it takes an outside force to come in and give you the swift kick in the rear that you need to get you out of that comfort zone and into what you really love and have a passion for.
As the old Chinese proverb says, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” So, what are YOU waiting for? Get out there and find YOUR passion!
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TWEETABLE
Living day to day doing things that don’t fulfill your passion is a lot harder than the effort it takes to build the thing you have a passion for. Don’t settle for less than you deserve and take that first step to living a passion filled life.
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James Miles is the owner of a residential assisted living company Willow Haven Senior Homes, an investor, and a mentor. He is the father of four energetic boys and has a passion for helping people. Whether it is helping seniors find exceptional care, guiding co-workers to find success in their careers, or helping a new generation find their passion and get the most out of their lives, he is always willing to help. To contact him, email james@willowhavenseniorhomes.com
CHAPTER 29
Rise from Obscurity
by Gary L. Hammond
I t was the summer of ‘72 in a public housing community called Herman Gardens in Detroit, Michigan when my father asked, “Son, what do you want to be in life?”
I answered, “Dad, I want to be a millionaire.”
My father said, “Son, a Black man can’t be rich in this country.” From that moment on, I set out to change the mindset of my father.
I knew I wanted to do something more in life than work in a car factory as he did. I had no idea what I was going to do, but it had to be something great that my dad would respect.
As I became a man in 1981, I had my first child just one year after high school graduation, then a second child in 1983.
I began to work odd jobs trying to find my way in life and support my kids. Wanting my own business always remained in my heart. I sold Encyclopedia Britannica, Shaklee vitamins, and helped a friend promote his silk screen business, but they all failed to make me a profit.
Eventually, I worked in a postal mail processing facility at night and volunteered as a Detroit reserve police officer during the day, hoping it would lead to me being hired by the city. But it didn’t, and my partner was killed which was a game changer for me. His death this led to me rethinking my future and seeking other opportunities as well as any training that would improve my skill sets and make me more employable.
I got married in 1990 to a woman who had an entrepreneurial spirit as I did, and together we tried Amway, but it became another failed attempt at the American dream.
I had become so very frustrated with life, so I decided to take some classes and CAD (computer-aided design) training to increase my skills. This led to my getting a job working for an automotive engineering firm in 1991. Several years passed, and in 1993, I landed my third job as a CAD designer for a large automotive supplier which lasted 25 years until my position was eliminated. Yes, I got WHACKED!
While working for the supplier, my pay began to increase exponentially, leading to a six-figure income. I began to feel that I was finally making some headway, that I was having some success. I built a home in 1994, had two more kids, and started a business part-time rehabbing and flipping houses in 1997 after seeing an infomercial by Carlton Sheets. Sadly, in that same year, my mom passed away. My dad had died only a few years prior. I was devastated.
In 2004, divorce hit me and it seemed like I was back to a no-win situation yet again, and for a decade I struggled. I lost my home, my truck was repossessed, and my credit ruined. Alcoholism consumed me, and I gave up on my business as my soul was too beaten up. I just worked and prayed, never losing faith that I could somehow turn my life around.
I went back to real estate investing. I rehabbed a house here and there, but my job was so demanding I was often too exhausted by the time I got home. I only had barely enough energy to raise my kids now that I was a single dad.
Over the years, I’ve come to learn that the things I gave my all to worked out, the things that didn’t weren’t meant to be, and quitting was never really an option but just a temporary vacation in fear. I know now that everything I ever wanted was on the other side of fear. Nowadays I stay laser-focused, taking massive action every day.
After a decade of time passed, I married for the second time to my lovely wife Lisa on Ju
ly 11, 2014, and together with our mixed family of kids we are blessed to have a wonderful marriage with seven children, eleven grandchildren, and a pet rabbit.
My kids except one are all grown. I persevered and now remain in a happy marriage. My life hasn’t been easy at all, and it has often seemed that I’d get two steps forward and then be pushed by life three steps back. Now, at age 57, I have the unrelenting courage to face my fears immediately, the persistence to never quit, and the faith in my higher power that I can accomplish whatever I want.
I am so grateful that, after everything, I found the strength to pick myself up and get going again. Today, I am Principal of Cigary Capital, a boutique commercial real estate investment firm, and Managing Director of Capfund Group Family Office where we provide debt and or equity to established businesses nationwide through our strategic relationships with ultra-high net worth families who seek to protect their wealth and align their special interest with our inner circle network.
The dream of financial freedom, leaving a legacy for the generations coming after me which begins with this book, is at hand. I will change the family curse of just existing and reacting to life by going on the offensive and building not just one but two successful businesses.
Where you come from doesn’t dictate where you’re going!
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TWEETABLE
You won’t find success on the other side of complacency.
You won’t find it anywhere near laziness. You most assuredly won’t find it anywhere near procrastination or analysis paralysis. Push ahead with a sense of urgency and remain laser-focused to conquer fear and achieve success.
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Gary L. Hammond is an investor sponsoring acquisitions of multifamily assets throughout the United States and an industry-agnostic financer providing capital to low - middle market US-based businesses through our strategic relationships with family offices.
You may contact him: GaryHammond@CigaryCapital.com
CHAPTER 30
The Power of Being Seen
How I Turn “Being Different” to My “Superhuman Power”
by Sophia Stavron
“Let him who would move the world, first move himself.”
– Socrates
I n September of 2017, as I stood in the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel with two awards in my hands after the premiere of one of my movies (which since has received multiple Emmy and Telly awards), I could not have imagined that I was about to connect with a talented and powerful human being,leading to a wonderful friendship and amazing connection!
“What’s your next project?” said Billy Zane. (Yes, the internationally known actor most popularly known for his role as Cal, Rose’s fiancé, in the movie Titanic.)
I replied, “You of all people may have some interest and deep understanding in the movement I’ve founded that will change history and is currently in a soft launch...Philotimo WellBeing™. I’m bringing philotimo to the modern day and teaching philotimo globally.”
“Philotimo?” Billy’s eyes widened in surprise, his vocal tone expressing excitement within his wonder. “I was taught philotimo very young! Are you Greek?” Billy asked.
And the conversation carried on in our ancestors language, Greek. This is one of the most profound experiences in my life that was all rooted in philotimo. The Ancient Greek word is untranslatable in any other language. The Greek word Philotimi, (“philo” means love and “timi” means to honor) has the literal meaning of love to honor. Philotimo is considered to be the highest of all Greek virtues.
“Philotimo to the Greek is like breathing. A Greek is not a Greek without it. He might as well not be alive.”
– Thales
As our friendship has grown, I’ve discovered that the best advice Billy and I mutually received as children was, “Be of service.” We were both taught philotimo. My father taught me the complex philotimo concept at a very young age, and my parents drilled into my head, “Be nice to everyone.” Philotimo needs to be inspired and practiced. Luckily, Billy sees me as a leader in the movement. As a result of productive discussion with him, I am soon moving ahead with my book and documentary on philotimo.
As we looked at the world around us with the passion we both share for helping others, it was obvious that we needed to be living and teaching a Philotimo Lifestyle™ now more than ever.
“The greatest virtues are the most useful to other persons.”
– Aristotle
Being a first generation American from Greek immigrant parents raised in Lincoln, Nebraska made for an interesting childhood. Looking different, eating “weird” food during lunch in the school cafeteria, wearing non- designer clothing, and speaking a foreign language were just a few of the things that caught the attention of bullies at school. But that was not the end of my list of reasons that I caught the attention of bullies that surrounded me. There was more of me to be exposed that most people would consider “different.”
One of my very first memories which gave me insight into my own inner world as well as evidence that I was “different” happened during my first trip to Greece. I was almost three years old, and my parents were scrambling to find their way to the next terminal in the airport. I could feel my mother’s anxiety and panic type energy in addition to “hearing” the different thoughts running through her head. My mother put us on the front part of a luggage cart, and I hugged my 19-month-old younger sister tightly before my mother could even give me that instruction because I already “heard” her thoughts before they verbally were given to me. I remember thinking to myself, “I know what you want me to do,” quickly followed by, “How do I know all this?”
Great question! I searched for the answer for years! Remember, no such thing as Google existed in the 1970s and 1980s.
At the time, I did not realize that the balance in my life between thinking “I don’t think I belong on this planet” and “Oh, how wonderful that they see and understand me,” was created at school by a few of the teachers who viewed me as special and nurtured my spiritual gifts and talents. I was and still am beyond grateful to those amazing teachers because they gave me hope and the safety to express without shame or apology an inner “knowing” that as a child I had no words to explain.
The reframe of my mindset went from being a wildly “different” creative kid to being a unique, talented human with superpowers.
This change of my self perception was a huge transformation in my life. Many kids with similar childhood experiences of understanding that everything is energy and deeply feeling energy because of heightened sensitivity are fearful of their experience and shut down their spiritual gifts. To put it bluntly, most humans have a fear of the unknown and the unseen, so we create fearful thoughts around what we don’t understand instead of considering the possible in a situation. Sadly, many children in my position of receiving constant judgement and criticism do not “see” their own inner magnificence and choose a path of living with many self-limiting beliefs that support the thought, “I am not good enough.” I too wrestled with that thought often in my mind.
The tools I used to win over the loud, critical roommate in my head were my creative and curious personality, my imagination, believing anything is possible, a love of laughter, meditation, breathing, and practicing philotimo.
A number of years later, I found language for what was occurring that I didn’t know how to label. Emotional intelligence genius, intuitive, seer, and empath are great words to describe my human experience. Fortunately, after years of learning how to hide my inner superpowers to help people feel more comfortable around me, I came out to the world professionally! This translates into decades of living my passion in service to helping thousands of people find their mission, purpose, spirituality, better health, mental performance...and the list goes on! But wait! One of my superpowers is a secret I kept until only a few years ago.
Honor the presence of others. This is a Philotimo Lifestyle™ principle I teach and practice.
It’s a simple truth and a basic human need...we all want to be seen and understood. My belief is that we are spiritual beings in a human cosmic meat costume, living on this physical earth plane. My family didn’t fully support the type of education and work I was doing with my clients surrounding mindset, energy medicine, breathing, and meditation for transformation and healing purposes until the ultimate test...my dad’s health.
“Difficulties are things that show a person who they are.”
– Epictetus
My father was struggling with his mental health, and many of our family friends tried to convince me that he was depressed. Because of lack of support, my father’s proper diagnosis was delayed until 2009. The truth I knew intuitively was that he was not depressed. He became despondent after an emergency back surgery in 1998. In February 2009, an MRI from one of the top neurologists in Dallas, Texas revealed two mini strokes in the frontal lobe of the brain that were not new in nature. He gave me his gentle insight into what the progression of vascular dementia would look like to prepare my family. I graciously thanked him for his valuable insight, and declared that this would not be my father’s experience.
Fast forward to 2019...I have medical evidence and approximately one decade of brain MRIs that show no brain changes typically found in vascular dementia patients. Only normal progressive aging of the brain is present. I have spoken internationally at medical conferences on how I halted his progression of dementia with Philotimo Lifestyle™ principles and the power of the mind. My father’s neurologist has no explanation of how my work with my father has produced these results other than he’s a “medical miracle.”
The tool that greatly helps my clients to immediately release past thoughts, past experiences, and past energy they are holding in their body that no longer serves them is acknowledging their truth.
Instead of focusing on the label and the dehumanizing result of seeing yourself or others with dementia, I chose to rewrite another story of my father, the beautiful human and philotimo spirit that he truly embodies. That’s acknowledging truth! I refused to focus my energy or his to create thought forms that could appear in his physical body in a non-supportive way. The more I practiced Philotimo Lifestyle™ principles with my father, the more relaxed, the more peaceful, and the happier he became. And we created much needed new neural pathways in his brain for better mental health. This is a magnificent transformation!